Your life – your freedom.

I can well imagine that you are now sighing out loud when you read that many causes arise in the childhood imprinting phase: “Childhood has to be blamed again”. But this is not about looking for someone or something to blame, but rather about accepting what is.

Regardless of whether your childhood was happy, unhappy or somehow completely normal. The fact is that you grew up as a baby and didn’t know your name or where you lived. You were told who you were and who you belonged to.

You accepted this – probably obvious – information just as unquestioningly as the less obvious information. This is how you learned what behavior was desired, whether and to which religion you belonged and to which football club. You learned which neighbors you liked to see and which party to vote for. You were told what you could and could not do. You knew when you were overstepping your family’s moral boundaries and which study/career/ and partner choices would be supported.

Of course, you didn’t always stick to the rules and when you broke them, there was an inner voice that clearly and unmistakably reproached you for the transgression, even if no one else had noticed the “misdeed”. You had to come to terms with breaking the rules, whether you wanted to or not. Your own will opposed an existing law that had long since become an inner conviction.

From a systemic perspective, I see this as follows:

We are born with the perfect master program of a free person. And since not a single thought has yet been thought, anything is possible. Emotions and feelings control babies and toddlers. Up to the age of 7 or 8, we are therefore fully geared towards receiving on an emotional level. We absorb everything around us like a sponge.

And this brings me back to the imprinting phase. In the first few years of our lives, we are literally primed by the lifestyle of those around us. We are constantly shown how those around us, preferably our parents and siblings, deal with life’s tasks. What kind of work do they do, to what extent do performance/refusal, relationships and adaptation/resistance play a role – and, very importantly:

How is the child treated within this system? How safe could it feel? How accepted and taken seriously? How open was communication? Was there any communication at all? Were siblings held up as positive or negative examples?

And before even a single thought could form in relation to me and my environment, there were already masses of impressions and emotions that were looking for an explanation.

And this brings me back to the cause/effect principle.

We know what effect subliminal information, e.g. from advertising, has on us. Our brain tends to decide to buy product A (cause) in the supermarket because of the product promise for product A (effect). It has therefore been primed in the best sense of the word. In childhood, we are constantly primed with subliminal information.

The following example shows how this phenomenon works.

Klara asks Martin a series of questions, which he has to answer as quickly as possible.
Klara: What color is the snow?
Martin: White, of course.
Klara: What color is the wall?
Martin: Also white.
Klara: What color are the clouds?
Martin: White.
Klara: What does the cow drink?
Martin: Milk.

My clients have reached the optimum level of inner freedom when their answer is “water”. Because then they have successfully overcome the priming (inherited beliefs) from the past.

The courageous look behind the scenes of your own beliefs allows you to shine with an unprecedented authenticity. A deeply grounded serenity that can only arise from forgiveness and acceptance. Letting go and new action are the result.

This new active action is decisive for the successful establishment of new beliefs and the fading of old patterns.

The inner freedom that this creates frees up space for new experiences. Entrepreneurs allow themselves to take new, possibly unpopular paths that correspond to their inner convictions. Employees, managers and the self-employed allow themselves to stand up for their value in confident salary or project negotiations. Toxic relationships are suddenly given up with ease and fulfilling partnerships become possible thanks to the newly discovered self-worth.

Personally, self-discovery and the development of authentic inner freedom are very close to my heart. My book “The Journey to your Inner Freedom” (available to order from www.amazon.de) is about this and is intended as a workbook to help you make your first reflections in this direction.

The 10 most effective secrets for a self-determined life summarized:

1. Find out who you really are
2. Make decisions whose consequences you are happy to bear
3. Learn to distinguish needs from selfishness
4. Bring clarity to your actions
5. Focus on just one goal
6. Keep agreements with yourself
7. Stop dividing your life into good and bad
8. Use opportunities for experiences
9. Recognize your successes
10. Be the best version of yourself

You may have already noticed. The journey to freedom is really the journey to yourself. It’s not something abstract or weird that you dedicate yourself to when you have nothing better to do for half an hour. No, it is a life task. And whatever the initial deficit was that you started to work on, it is extremely worthwhile to keep at it and be surprised by all the fine layers that can be removed from the imagined identity over time. The patina of the old familiar gives way to a fresh new self. Surprising yourself is not only pretty cool, but also feels incredibly free. No more reproaches and blaming your parents, no more excuses for what you can’t do. Everything you always had to get upset about because your inner child felt triggered becomes superfluous. So much more of what you simply no longer have to do, and so much more of what you can suddenly do (again).

In short: the journey to freedom leads along paths to infinite possibilities.

My tip:

Start now. Because only now can you do what you want to be your past tomorrow.