In coaching sessions, I am often asked the question: ‘Yes, but what does that have to do with feelings? This is a purely factual issue. It just really upsets me!’
How can it be that a supposedly factual discussion triggers us emotionally to such an extent that we ‘only see red’ at that moment? How do emotions influence our actions and what do they say about us?
Don't waste any time and get started immediately after you have managed to get the desired employee on board after a lengthy recruitment process.
1 | Not keeping promises
The employee comes to your company full of expectations. Full of confidence in what you have told and promised him in the interviews about the tasks, development opportunities and responsibilities.
The best thing to do is to cancel the first meeting with him immediately after he has set up his own workstation and have your assistant tell him that he should get to grips with project XY until you are back from your business trip. It would be good if you only briefed him sporadically from then on, relying on him to ‘ask around’ in the team – and then expect a perfect result. Furthermore, don’t give any specific feedback and just let him ‘get on with it’. Pass him over at the next discussed development stage, without discussion, as it is obvious that he is not ‘delivering the desired performance’. Delegate communication so that triangular communication is ensured. If the employee requests a personal meeting and the promises made to him, have his proposals presented to you and then make it clear to him directly (or better still via the HR department) that you do not see the proposed development path for him. Even better, leave the issue in limbo and under no circumstances suggest sensible alternatives.
With this approach, you have already taken a big step towards getting rid of a good employee faster than you could find them.
2 | Disguised overload
If the employee nevertheless perseveres, challenge them properly now. As already practised: Little to no briefing at the start of the project, a tight schedule and unclear objectives – as you didn’t have the time to get to grips with the project yourself. In any case, it is important to give him full responsibility for the project and to sell it to him as a unique opportunity for his career path. If you realise during the course of the project that the employee needs support or has been denied the resources promised to them, give them an encouraging pat on the back with the words: ‘You’ll manage. I trust you completely!’. That should definitely be enough motivation.
If the employee fails, tell them how disappointed you are, as you see great potential in them, but they are obviously not taking their chances.
3 | Sustained underchallenge
Recognising and encouraging employees’ potential and motivation takes time and expertise. If you don’t have either of these, or don’t consider them relevant, it is advisable to assign tasks according to a ‘standardised approach’, irrespective of whether you clutter up the ‘A performers’ in the team with permanently repetitive tasks and trample on their intrinsic motivation.
The only important thing is that a constantly full desk deprives employees of the opportunity to develop their own initiative and demonstrate their skills in more exciting, challenging tasks and experience a sense of achievement by contributing their strengths.
4 | Subtle favouritism towards individual employees
A standardised salary structure now only provides limited material for taking advantage of individuals. You can raise the issue of fairness and unfairness in your team much more subtly if you let your employees feel that you favour certain colleagues. This is very easy to do when allocating tasks and is best done in combination with point 3 (underchallenge). Changing, unagreed areas of responsibility and an unclear distribution of tasks help. You can take this even further in monetary terms by not honouring bonus commitments and applying double standards in the so-called soft skill assessment.
It would be a good idea to have a big ‘hidden discussion’ about this topic among employees every year at the end of the year.
5 | Be busy, or just not there
Give your employees space! Leave questions unanswered and thus encourage their individual ideas for solutions. There is a demand for more and more autonomy anyway and leadership is perceived as restrictive – in addition, you absolutely fulfil the propagated requirements of the young generation (Y). So stick to your topics. Make sure that you fulfil the tasks that are set for you. Employees who come to you with questions will only get in the way. One hour per week should be enough to deal with all the topics of the past and coming week, discuss goals and check the mood.
However, leave the information bottleneck with you and only pass on information in bits and pieces – this will ensure that you continue to be in high demand but are never reached.
6 | Headteacher
You are still the one who knows. That has always been the case and won’t change any time soon. Of course, you are open to new ideas and innovations and demand the same from your employees, but if the customer suddenly leaves their assigned place and suddenly pushes ahead with innovative ideas, it is important that you make it clear to the whole team who is in charge. The best way to do this is by interrupting, correcting or simply taking the helm. You have been in the business for a long time and this should never be questioned. In internal presentations, you should clearly point out why your employee’s approach is not well thought out and cannot work at all.
So that this does not backfire on you and you can save face, there must be no doubt that this was discussed differently and that the employee would probably have misinterpreted it. Blitz amnesia is also an effective tool here. Declare your willingness to deal with the issue in question personally with immediate effect.
7 | Not taking responsibility
If something goes wrong or deadlines are not met, make sure that you present the situation in such a way that others, i.e. your employees, are to blame. After all, you have assigned the job accordingly and your employees should be able to coordinate it independently. It is unacceptable for you to be asked to scrutinise everything your employees deliver. How would that be possible?
Important: Under no circumstances should you protect your employees. This only creates a false sense of well-being.
8 | Counterquestions instead of answers
Never take your employees’ questions seriously. It is better to respond with cynical remarks or ironic counter-questions. Establish a culture in which questions are ignored or otherwise remain unanswered. Keep your employees guessing – let them find answers and develop solutions themselves. If you do this consistently, your employees will learn relatively quickly that they don’t need to come to you with questions.
A further effect: you retain sovereignty of knowledge and thus maintain a certain level of security.
9 | Ignore employee values
You don’t know your employees’ values? Very few managers know what is important to their employees, yet this knowledge is so valuable. It’s in your hands. So if you have discovered that the non-conformist in the team needs a challenge, then you are permanently underchallenging them. If you have someone in the team who is communicative and works creatively with others to develop new solutions, then put them in a single-room office, far away from the action, and entrust them with analysing complex databases. Place the reserved, constructive thinker in the middle of the open-plan office between sales and customer service and ask him to make cold calls.
Caution: As most employees value appreciation and recognition, don’t do this at all. Quite simply, avoid any appreciation or words of recognition for services rendered. This will not fail to have the desired effect.
10 | More performance – same money
You gradually give grateful employees who are keen to take on more responsibility and prove themselves more and more important projects and gradually expand their area of responsibility. Working students or interns are also suitable for initial management tasks. This is motivating. If your ambition remains strong, this can be satisfied by adding a new title to your business card. However, please don’t get the idea of rewarding more responsibility and status with a higher salary at the same time. You should really take your time with this.
Keep the employee happy by making promises that are linked to new requirements. Carried out over a longer period of time, this is a proven and effective method of losing even the most stubborn and loyal employee.
Can you add to the list based on other people’s stories or your own experiences? Please let me know. 🙂
