I would love to have the safe recipe for 2021 that I would happily post on my blog today! We would all have a plan that would show us the way and in the end we would all be happy and satisfied. That’s how it would work, wouldn’t it? As it says so beautifully at the end of the fairy tale, when all the dragons, witches and other adversaries have been defeated? “….and they lived happily ever after.”
Does the secret lie in fighting adversaries? Can we be happy as soon as we have fought, outwitted or otherwise rendered them harmless? It could be a clue…. Ask yourself. How many crises, farewells, illnesses, etc. have you already overcome? Let’s say an average of five and each of these crises had the potential to kill you, or at least turn your life into an eternal hell. There were many moments of darkness, hopelessness and uncertainty. Right? You just couldn’t imagine that the sun would ever shine in your life again. You called anyone who prophesied a speedy recovery a liar…! And yet… a few months later, you were seen walking through the streets laughing again. The crisis was over. But not only that, something had changed, so much so that even your friends noticed it, who thought you seemed somehow different. Stronger, more self-confident and clearer. So the crisis has not only enriched you with an experience, but also made you more mature – in our example, you would already be five times more stable than before the very first crisis.
Does that make sense? Let’s just leave it at that and continue our research.
What else did the protagonists from the children’s fairy tales have to be happy and content for the rest of their lives? The adversaries were defeated, but then what? Was there perhaps a plan after all? A plan that they had devised and lived out for the rest of their lives?
The plan itself gives a feeling of security, but what would it have to look like in order to promise a happy, contented life?
It would have to be something in which there are no unpredictable or uncontrollable factors, because anything outside of our own control could cause the plan for happiness and contentment to falter. Perhaps the fairy tale characters understood exactly that? Happiness and contentment comes from within.
With the self-confidence gained from winning the battle and the knowledge that you can only ensure your own happiness, you would think that nothing could go wrong with “happily ever after….” – if it weren’t for the three well-known antagonists that nip the delicate feeling of well-being in the bud. Everyone knows the three happiness eaters, namely memory, forgetting and comparison.
- Remembering the shame IN the crisis, reliving the pain, hurt and loss over and over again.
- Forgetting your own strength, bravery and competence that led you OUT of the crisis.
- Comparing yourself to others and the associated belittling of your own successes and failure to recognize your own happiness.
So if you have REALLY set yourself the goal of being happy and content, no matter what storm is raging around you, then write it down in big letters on a piece of paper and put it up somewhere where you will see it at least 20 times a day!
- Forget past pain and tick it off as a necessary experience.
- Remind yourself of your knowledge and skills and persevere with what interests you.
- Don’t worry about what others say, don’t believe everything others say and celebrate your successes.
Try it out! What do you have to lose? 😉
With this in mind, I wish you a happy, satisfied and successful start to YOUR year 2021 and don’t let anything or anyone spoil it for you. J
If you would like to find out more about my systemic and leadership coaching or book an appointment for a non-binding initial consultation, don’t hesitate and simply follow the menu items on this page. It’s very simple!
I look forward to meeting you!
Yours
Regina Reitinger
