Do you know this? You’re lying in bed, slowly waking up… it’s the weekend… you don’t have to get up… dream residues mingle with the delicate perception of consciousness… space and time…. You drift back to sleep, the fragile concept of space and time dissolves again…. Wonderful peace and relaxation….
BUT THEN – the time is sure to come – YOU WAKE UP AND SHE’S BACK….
The inner voice that sounds in your head with sentences like: “Oh, if only I had…!” or “What would have happened if I had…?”.
By now at the latest, relaxation and bliss are over. Life’s questions need to be answered. And since the answers are not so easy to find, the questions have to be rolled around and turned in all directions as often as possible until you finally feel miserable and in a bad mood as usual.
In my opinion, this is a completely superfluous exercise. Asking yourself useless questions, and therefore questioning yourself, brings absolutely no added value and is nothing more than a waste of time.
Why?
The questions are directed towards the past. From today’s perspective, there is nothing more to be gained there. The moment of action is definitely over. If we had been able to act differently and were motivated to do so, we would have acted differently. This was not the case. Such a carousel of thoughts only ends in self-condemnation and should therefore be avoided at all costs.
However, if we are already asking “what if” questions, then we should ask them in relation to our current thoughts and actions. This opens up the horizon for new ideas, provides inspiration and thus creates new ways of seeing and acting.
So what if…
- I would no longer feel immediately attacked
- I would act instead of doubting
- I would laugh and cry (if I felt like it)
- I tell myself that I am great
- I tell others that I like them
- I would experience a day as a man/woman
- I would go about my everyday life as an Australian for a day
- I would listen to others more than talk myself
- I would talk about myself instead of sitting there quietly
- I would go out in the rain on Sundays
- I would go out at all instead of just opening the window?
What would happen then?
Would I still be myself?
Would I gain something or lose something? If so, what would that be?
I notice that with questions like these, the fear of losing something is many times greater than the thought of gaining something.
That’s interesting, because initially it’s only about doing something differently and not about having to give something up. And yet we know that nothing is free.
So something MUST be given up.
Giving up habits and leaving the cozy comfort zone is the price. However, this does not result in the dreaded loss, but a gain.
Expansion of self-awareness and scope for action.
Nowadays, we have every opportunity to freely develop our own identity. Whereas in the past, origin, place of residence and family structures clearly defined who you were and who you had to be, today it is much easier and at the same time more difficult to find yourself.
I don’t want the old, I won’t take the new, or as the saying goes: “If this is the solution, I want my problem back.”
In addition, the media, competition and the desire for uniqueness clash with all the egalitarianism. Tried and tested points of reference such as family and origin are falling away. The external world of fast-paced life and interchangeability provides no stable basis. So where, if not on the outside, is there a safe place from which development, identity formation, security and resilience are possible?
Anyone who gives themselves over to the adventure of crossing boundaries and questioning conditioning naturally has to leave comfort zones again, but in return they become the master of their own house and find the reward within themselves.
So start living the questions:
Who am I?
Who do I want to be?
I will be happy to support you in this! 🙂
